


Keeping Count

by himekohimura



Series: Keeping Count [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-02 14:10:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/369853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/himekohimura/pseuds/himekohimura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a counter at the bottom right of Tony's screens. No one really knows what it is, not even Pepper.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keeping Count

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the prologue to a bigger story, but i have yet to figure out what kind of story it will be.

There's a counter at the bottom right of Tony's screens. No one really knows what it is, not even Pepper. 

Clint thinks it’s a countdown to one of Tony's bad inventions blowing up the planet. Natasha assumes that it's irrelevant to the overall mission and doesn't give it the least bit of care. Bruce is too mindful of personal space to bother and Thor and Steve are too clueless at modern technology to think anything is amiss. 

It changes from day to day. Sometime one billion thirty two to one billion one hundred ninety three. Sometimes it goes all the way down to ninety nine million eight hundred and fifty six. But that's on the rare day. 

The only person who really knows what it means is JARVIS but he only knows because he's the one who keeps count. Because the calculations are sometimes a bit too much for even Tony Stark. 

That and it takes a whole lot more research than Tony has time for. 

It starts after the first time he uses the suit in Gulmira. He came back with bullet holes and bruises in places that shouldn't have bruises. 

He broke down that day in the privacy of his suit, not daring to take off the mask and see the killer in his reflection. He made a pledge that day to make amends for the lives he has taken, unknowingly or not.

And so he keeps a count of every life he saves. 

Sometimes it's impossible. Since he saves the world from time to time he generally keeps his count on the ones he can. He has JARVIS do most of those calculations, scanning for life signatures every time he's in his suit. 

He keeps count because he needs it to keep from going insane. 

How many did he kill before he realized? He sees their faces in his head. The young woman in the front seat. The eager young man trying to take a picture. The confused one with the camera. He remembers them. He dreams of them. Of the lives they could have had. 

And then he counts. All the lives he's saved against all the lives he’s killed.

It's never a balanced scale. 

Millions dead because of his weapons. Not only of the ones killed but the ones that may be grieving. And of the ones that were never born. 

Generations of people killed off because he was blind. Blind and stupid. 

He promises that will never happen again.


End file.
